If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
