1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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