We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
