jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
