you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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