he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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