I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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