Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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