I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
