I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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