Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
