I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
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He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
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You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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