The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
