just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
