I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
