Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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