I smell stomach acid.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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