Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
