so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
