just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
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