Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i already hear my dad disowning me
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
BRING THE BAGELS
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
