Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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