I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Randomize
