so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
