I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
