He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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