I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
All the doctor said was why
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
