I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
