Are we in a gay sports bar?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
