Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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