Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm drive I can fine osifer
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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