Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
