You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
