I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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