How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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