What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
