You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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