I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
