I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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