Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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