I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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