I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
