Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
