oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She even gives head with a lisp.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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