oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
