you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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