hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
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