only if we run a train.
done.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
