the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
