Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
