I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Less talking, more tequila
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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