my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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