I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
