When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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