Porn is love you can see.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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