I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
