in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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