Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
