I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
