This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
