I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
