you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
