there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
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It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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