'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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