i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
