i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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