I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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